03 April 2011

Baby Steps

"Your feet will bring you where your heart is." -- Irish proverb 

I'm going to attempt now, finally, to take some baby steps, right straight forward to where my heart is. My heart, or a large part of it anyway, is right here on my blog, where I write about the shenanigans of life at my little cottage by the sea.  Sharing with you, my family and friends, makes the writing I do an interactive thing which, I didn't realize was so confirming as to be addicting! Gone but not forgotten I hope, I will now attempt to take baby steps back into this sweet spot I have found. Itty, bitty, baby-steps.  It's scary starting  all over again.  Scary letting go.  Maybe you could hold my hand for a while, just this first time?

The thing is, I owe you a sunset.  One of my favorite things to do is share them on this blog. So here it is, my best shot from this week, especially for you.

The weather couldn't be better for springtime. The sun has been shining and it's usually about 70 degrees here during the day. It make ya feel like planting something.  Yesterday I planted a whole fence with bamboo.  Well, technically my husband dug, planted, watered and cleaned up, but I watched. 

We've been blessed with a lot of much needed rain this year and while we here in Southern California, see rain or even a hint of it exclaim, "Oh my, I must have a lie-in today because I can't possibly go outside.  It's raining."  Wait, that might just be me, but if you've got a minute check out this post I wrote last year and you'll understand what I mean by, It Never Rains In Southern California. Anyway, our dam is overflowing for the first time in years and it's a beautiful site to see, for a drought ridden state.

Where have I been?  I don't know - I'm still dazed and confused.  My last post before I fell into a sad, tearful degrading depression is right here - Call It Crash Or Call It Fail.  It may help to recap. Read it and weep along if you dare. I'm warning you though, just thinking about it happening to you may affect how you feel and act towards others.  I know it did me.  Pass the Paxil please.  Xanax anyone? 

Lucky for you, but extremely unfortunate for my family to whom I now publicly apologize profusely, as my actions and behavior were severely impacted.  I couldn't put on my own shoes.  I was constantly agitated and annoyed.  Heck, I didn't want to wear perfume any more!  Since my life's blood computer failed me completely, I was severed from my email, my 57,000 photos, my blog, and all things Google.  Why, it felt like my entire brain and heart were removed temporarily.  And by temporarily, I mean forever!  Almost two months!  That's at least 145 years in computer time!

So many of you have empathized and I do appreciate it.  I have so missed you and your blogs, all your witty writing, your beautiful pictures, the belly laughs and friendships blogging brings to my life, and that was part of the problem.

Did I mention that my camera also had a tragic accident and drowned in my purse during this period?  Also my printer was down, my computer and life as I had grown to know and depend on it was gonzo and I still haven't completely decided if I'm doing the right thing by getting back to this obviously huge dependence on electronics. It's a huge leap of faith for me. It took me a long time to switch from all things paper to all things computer. If you'd like to read briefly about way back when I made my first foray into the computer world, you may relate to this post, What's In A Name?  I've added a grandchild and a remodel since then but you get the gist of it. 

Files, documents, correspondence, address book, (yep, also lost).  The journals which I used to write on paper, all 35 years worth, are locked safely in a filing cabinet since I started using the computer almost two years ago. Computer, computer, computer. But enough with that, I don't want to lose you before I get you back try to make this blog a positive experience, so enough whining! Another sunset anyone?

Although born and bred a California girl, my dad was a pilot and flew us to our cabin where I spent my childhood summers on a ranch in the wilderness area of Idaho on the Salmon River. It was there that I learned invaluable terms like, "if you get thrown off your horse, you turn right around and get back on little missy."  Or another relevant one, "pull yourself up by the bootstraps girl!" Apparently, that was lost on me.  Luckily my hubby gets that whole philosophy more than I do, because it was his getting sick of me rolled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb and moaning all day perseverance and determination and hundreds of phone calls and trips to the Genius bar that got me back on track. It was he who made it possible for me to be here and everywhere else on my computer again. You have no idea what this means to me.  He isn't a computer guy.  He is just a determined guy.  A guy determined to keep his wife happy by any means.  (And he looks great when he plants bamboo too).  You didn't think I sat there watching him plant just because I had nothing else to do, did ya? 

Warning, warning, GREAT BIG warning to y'all.  If you read my last post, you'll know I was using an offsite program called Carbonite to back up. Even after my hubby learned a new language from India (including curse words), became a computer expert, and neglected the urge to kill anyone, while dealing for two months with Carbonite trying to get all my programs and info back, they still couldn't do it. The bits and parts I did recover were not in any kind of logical order. Imagine your picture files not in files anymore.  Imagine Microsoft Office floating around somewhere in the universe with all your fonts and files and documents on it never to be found again. {Shiver}. Not by Carbonite, not by Genius's, not by an act of congress or a work of mercy. 

I had to buy a new Microsoft program and am now in the process of getting an external back up drive from Apple. I'll save those of you who need this info, the extensive research I have done, and just say, I understand your own external hard drive is the best way to back up. Having said that, this remains to be seen and I hope I never have to see it personally, again. Amen.

Meanwhile, back at the beach, life has been rolling along without me blogging about it.  Imagine that!  My new grand baby Abby is getting so big and fat we decided if we have a natural disaster here and run out of food we are just going to slather her in barbecue sauce and eat her up.

Our own - "Honey Heart", as her big brother calls her.  Yummy.

Here's some good news too.  My own Katie girl is going to become a bride come November.  Remember her in this post here, See number 32. 
Yeah, I do realize the title is, 22 Things I Know About Kate but, it's a good thing I'm wordy, since #32 is the most important thing on her list now don't ya know.

So now that I'm back online, I'll be able to share again, all the shenanigan's of life at the cottage, such as, the engagement and marriage of my second oldest baby girl to her fiance, Justin.  {Sniff} blow {Sniff}.  There's lots more too, and I'm starting to feel a little more confident since you've been holding my hand through my first baby steps back into blogging. 

So thank you my darlings, and as my friends in Australia would say, "I'm just going to leave for a little brekkie now."  But, I'll be back soon because with your help, I believe my feet have brought me back to where my heart is.

Love you more than all the dagnabed, convoluted, computer glitches in my world lately.



P.S.  I am heartily sorry to you my God and to all my poor friends and family for having offended thee with my inexcusable behavior for the past two months. Your sorry friend and family member,



GoldenValley50 said...

Oh Tia - how wonderful to have you back! I was beginning to think that I would never hear from you again. You take ALL the time you want (brekkie breaks and all!) We'll all keep holding onto your hand for however long you want us to. ;)Sharyne
PS Congrats to your gorgeous girl on her engagement and Abby is the most adorable bundle of joy!

NanaDiana said...

Yeah-You should be sorry! You get us all hooked on your nonsense and then ditch us? Computer problems? Seriously? Don't they have libraries where you are? You could have just googled up pictures on the internet (like everyone else does) and pretended they were your own!

I am SOOO stinking happy to see you back I could just fly...too bad my broom has been put up since Halloween! No more brekkies for you, you hear me?

ps...Congrats on the new FAT baby and the upcoming wedding! AND if you get a chance pop by my blog and see SweetCheeks video debut on the Blog! xxoo Diana

Melissa Kline said...

Hi Tia! Beautiful blog! I LOVE the photos of all the beautiful scenery and sunsets. I'm a California girl too - born in Grass Valley. I also have family in Idaho so I can totally relate. :) I currently live in Denver but every chance I get I go home to Cali and soak it up. Your photos are so comforting!

~Melissa, SITS Girl ;)
Reflections on Writing

Melissa aka Equidae said...


Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I can't fathom losing all you did. But it wasn't a human and for that I am thankful.

Congratulations to Katie!!! (and her bethrothed)

That baby Abby is scumptious!!

Glad you are back. We all missed you.

Pam said...

Welcome back! I'm so sorry you weren't able to retrieve all of your files. That seems outrageous to me since you have Carbonite. Ugh! I was just having the "best way to back up a computer" conversation with my brother (a computer guy) today. We have a server that supposedly backs up all of our computers every day. But when my computer gave me a very scary error message the other day about "no hard disk found", I learned that in fact, my computer had NOT been backing up. Luckily, my computer decided to work fine the next day, but now I'm trying desperately to figure out the best way to back it up. My brother, the expert, recommends CARBONITE over a server. But I'm going to have to share your story with him. Is an external hard drive different from a server? I need to figure this out. Thanks for sharing your experience with us so we can hopefully be prepared.

Rose said...

I'm a fairly new follower to your blog. I love the photos you share; I haven't had the opportunity to travel much...YET....so seeing what you see via your blog is a blessing to me. Thanks for sharing!

Michelle Life Buy The Beach said...

Looks like we might have lots in common. Looking forward to pouring over your blog.

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

Tia, welcome home! So glad things are on a more even keel and you are back in the land of the living. Good to see your sunsets, happy babies, and smiling faces. Enjoy!

cooking-varieties said...

hi tia. am blog walking today, and...wow! if i can have the exact-looking cootage at your header, i will be sooooooooooo very happy and contented, even it has only 2 bedrooms :) the sunset and baby are so attractive too