05 November 2012

What Your Kids Do When You're Not Home

This is a somewhat cautionary tale because someday it too, could happen to you!
I wonder, what do all these thing have in common?

My theory up to this point has been, I don't want to know what it is that my teenagers do when I'm out. I've had five kids.  I'm tired. I can trust them by now I don't really want to know anymore but, sometimes these things come back to haunt you no matter how hard you try to be an ostrich!  Check out these photos taken by my kids.  Apparently the telltale tableau photographed above are the ingredients for what is about to happen.  

(Disclaimer):  If you have a weak heart go read a different blog, now!

All I wanted was to kick off my Rainbows and have a Cuppa after a long day.  As I relaxed in my studio chair and flipped open my Mac to check a few emails, I was treated quite unexpectedly, to the following photos. 

Huh?  Nobody except my husband and I are over 21 at our house at the moment and I've never heard of Pumpkin Ale.  You can imagine my surprise,

When I saw several different bottles of alcohol being lit on fire! And is that not the beverage holder on my back patio?  Why yes, yes it is the very same.

Can you guess what they are now going to do with this flaming bottle of beer?  Me either.  But do let us see if we can figure it out.

 Have you figured it out yet?  Me either.

How about you dorkus?  Have you thought this through?

What I do appreciate here, is that, my daughter is obviously being very careful and I know this as she has on her (I'm taking this very serious) face.  She always puts on this face when she does anything with her brother.  They're Irish twins (only 13 months apart).  If one doesn't think of it the other will and if one does it the other keeps what they call, THE CODE.  Do you know what that means?  I'll explain in another post at another time but, if you have teenagers, or if you ever do, beware unsuspecting innocent parents, there is  A CODE amongst them. 

We see before us a flaming bottle plunged into ice water with bare hands.  Have you figured this out yet?  Me either.

So I asked.  I did.  I screamed their names, first middle and last (never a good sign).  WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING HERE???
 What Ma?  I was just helping her with her homework...

 It's all clear to me now.  School made her do it.  And I pay good money for this. 

So if you're old like me and you don't want to know what your kids are doing while you're out anymore - because, of course after the first three you now have complete trust in the last two, don't, I repeat, do not leave your camera or your Mac unattended.  That's the final answer pure and simple.

By the way, if you still haven't figured it out (I really haven't either).  The yarn was dipped in several different flammable ingredients and tied around bottles.  Said bottles were then set on fire and instantly plunged into an ice bath where they were supposed to crack exactly where the yarn was tied.  Why?  I know, I asked the same question.  They were endeavoring to make cups from bottles of alcohol.  Cool huh?  If you look back on the first tableau whereby they staged their ingredients you will even see the sandpaper which was supposed to smooth out the edges, so the glasses were fit to drink out of.  In short, it didn't work and I was scorned for even questioning my little scientists for trying to squelch their dreams of discovery.  "Mom, we thought you'd love it!  You're an artist for hecks sake."  (Hecks sake - did they really say that?)  You've seem them; you guess.  Hahahahahahahaha. 

And what happened to the beer in all those bottles kids?

And what were the seashells and the telephone (that hasn't worked in 40 years) for you ask?  I never got a straight answer on that one.  And guess what?  I DON'T REALLY WANT TO KNOW.  

It's your turn.  What do your kids do when you're not home?  

No comments: