03 February 2010

California I Tried To Be Your Friend

California, I've tried to be your friend. I have.  Is there anybody as loyal to you as I?  I think not. Who was there for you when you got all rained out?  Yep, that was me.  I made the best of precipitation, and bragged how awesome you are anyway.  I even took pictures to prove it. It's all right here in my post, 
It Never Rains In Southern California!  And, I'm always bragging about how beautiful your beaches are.
I share you with everyone I know.  I get the word out.  It's all about Home State love for me, you know that! My people,  generations of us, we've been living our lives with deep appreciation and reverence for you.  Remember this post?  Want To Take A Walk With Me?  I was all up and bragging about you there too.  I'm just gonna tell you one thing California, and I'd appreciate it if you'd listen up.  Friends rarely come as loyal and true as I do but,  if you want to sustain a good relationship with me things have got to change.  I'm your buddy.  I'm your friend but, I can only take so much of this ration of poop you are doling out.   

You and I both know that I've been trying to renovate my little cottage.  It seems that you, (yeah you, Cali) have so many building codes, so many "cooks in the kitchen," if you know what I mean, that nobody is in charge. You keep changing everything up on me and it feels like this is just a one way relationship.  I put my time, effort and money into you and get nothing in return.  I'm making an investment of stewardship in you.  I love you, I dig you, I'm in love with you for Pete's sake.  And what do you do?  You just take, take, take, until I barely have anything left.  You are leaving me sad and alone and I feel depleted.  How can you do this to someone who loves you so?

My cottage sits alone.  Tired of trying.  The floors which once held so much promise like I showed in this post, "Serendipitous,"now look like THIS.  Tell me, is this any way to treat someone who loves you like I do?  Is this okay under any circumstance?

We've been together, (barring that little fling with Idaho), for practically my entire life now.  I've given you my all and it seems that now everything you offer me is destructive to my soul.

Sob, sob, soooooob, sobbbbbb, sob.

Our love seemed so promising at first.  I felt hopeful and excited, practically giddy!  You promised me I would have my "Cottage By The Sea".  I let you touch my water meter and I even let you Move My Dirt!  You were full of promises then, weren't you?  After all you are the Land of Milk and Honey, are you not?  The Golden State?
I even let you come between me and my G O D  D O G!  Casualties of Remodeling.  I did it all for you California.  I believed you when you said you were, the Land of Opportunity.

Okay California.  I think I've made my point.  And now, because I'm just that kind of person, I'm going to give you a second chance to make good. I'm going to take the high road and climb right on up that ladder of opportunity.  I will not give up on you.  I'm going to pull myself up by the bootstraps, go down to that building department and beg, bribe, cry kick some city, big shot,  as.,  until I get this situation sorted out. I'm going to fight for you with whatever energy I've got left.  If I've got anything, I've got tenacity, and even though all I'm trying to do is improve and beautify my little space in your heart, you thwart me. If we just regroup, remember why we were here in the first place.  I think we can get this relationship back on course.  How about it California?  Are you listening to me?!

???????????????????????  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regroup.  Breathe.  Inhale, hmmmmmmm.   Exhale, whhhhhhooooooooo.

I think I can feel it now.  It's going to be amazing.  Can you feel it?  Can you California?  You and me and the cottage, all living together in harmony.  We'll dance and sing and love by the sea once more!  We'll move forever forward you and me.

We'll build, and plant and paint and Andy will come back.  Remember him?  Remember Andy?  22 Things I Know About Andy.  Come on California; don't let me down; if you won't do it for me then,  do it for Andy!

Just to prove my love, my loyalty and my devotion, I'm putting my mailbox back from whence it came.  Looky there, right back where it used to be. No more forwarding the mail for me or mine.  I think we can both agree that this is a huge leap of faith.  I'm working on empty here Cali.  There is no siding, there are no shingles, just bare naked frame.  But I have opened up all communication.  I'm leaving it all up to you now baby.  I know you can do it.  We can do it.  All right!  Let's go.

And to whomever the animal lover, advocator is who keeps feeding my big, fat, cat.  STOP IT!  I mean, thank you very much but, we feed him twice a day.  Morning and evening we feed, water and love him up. This, no tail, 6 toed feline has absolutely no room for any extra calories.  As you can see he is well satiated and suffoncefied.

Love you more than all the rules, regulations, blips, glitches, city employees and artsy architects in the whole world California.  Now see me through.




BUSH BABE said...

Wow... that was quite an outpouring of emotion! Do you feel lighter? I wish you all the best of luck (and management) as you tackle this project. As a survivor of renovations myself, I feel your pain. And I look forward to victory!

BUSH BABE said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
BUSH BABE said...

Wow... that was quite an outpouring of emotion! Do you feel lighter? I wish you all the best of luck (and management) as you tackle this project. As a survivor of renovations myself, I feel your pain. And I look forward to victory!

Ocean Girl said...

I feel your pain, I feel your joy, I feel the love coming back.

I think it would be great. If you still have problem, call Arnold.

Anonymous said...

This is my first visit to your lovely blog and I will be returning. I feel your pain, on the opposite side of the country. We are in an 1880s Victorian farmhouse in NJ. Seems CA, NY, NJ have turned into police states.
Inch by inch we are one more step to completion. I figure it will be done just in time for my children to inherit it.

Peterson Family said...

I think it's going to be great! I believe...I really do!

I left you a little something on my blog today. I hope it brings a smile to your face!


Anonymous said...

*Gasp*!!!! An ORANGE cat!!!???? I'm in love!

Good luck with the cottage!

Unknown Mami said...

Never give up on California.

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

Don't worry, I'll never give up on California no matter how many yahoos run it!

Shelle said...

oh it sucks doesn't it...our renovation came to a stall because...well long story short there were so many problems with the inspectors allowing way too much sq footage in our area that they started nit picking every step we took...which left us with way too many months in between each inspection...and our money is spent!