Last night I learned that this Child Of My Heart is grown up now, even though she'll always be my baby.
Last night I had a heart to heart with her. I called her just to talk. I miss her because she's away at Uni - all the way in Texas! It's usually me supporting her, you know, with all the typical mom talk. But, I was the one in need this time. I tried not to "go there" because I hate to burden my kids with grownup stuff. The time will come soon enough for that. On this night, I just couldn't be the strong one. I needed a friend. A friend who knows me and my heart. So I spilled it. My baby girl listened. She listened and listened. She supported me and she encouraged me and her words dried my tears. She said all the right things and helped me to see more clearly. She said the stuff that once, I may have said to her. She loved me unconditionally, with absolutely no agenda. Last night, she became more than just my baby girl. She became my friend.
I'm not the type of mom who is their son's or daughter's friend when they're little. I'm not their buddy or their pal. They have their own buddies and pals. They only have one mom. I'm their mom. I'm the voice of reason, their conscience while they are still growing one of their own. I teach, I love, I live my life as an example. I give unconditional love. I remind them of where they come from and what is expected of them before they even know who they are. I give them roots. I show them faith and help them learn it for themselves. Then when they are ready, I push them gently from the nest and let them fly. Just a little at a time at first, but when its time and they are strong enough I step back and "Let God".
I did this with Tara, my first child, my first daughter, and she's now a strong, beautiful young woman with a family of her own. You can read a story about my lovely girl right here at my post, There Are Those Who Think That Families Happen By Chance. Along with her husband she is making her way in the world. She still needs me. We all need our moms sometimes but, now we are mother and daughter, and we are friends too. Really good friends.
And last night, I found out that my second daughter is flying away too. She is grown up enough to stand on her own two feet. She is about to graduate from University. She stands strong in her values and her core beliefs and it has been a blessing every day watching her develop into the young lady she has become. She's just beginning to fly and I look forward to being the wind beneath her wings for a while longer but, I found out last night that she is now grown up enough to be not only my daughter but also my friend. My job leading her is done. She has a life of her own and she is strong and brave and has wisdom beyond her years. Holy cow! All those times when she had those ipod buds in her ears while I was lecturing her, she was actually listening to me. To all of you still raising little ones, see, there's hope yet!
Kate is my daughter of light. She knows who she is and what she stands for. She's pretty fearless but, uses good judgement. She radiates happiness and lives her life with joy. She doesn't keep lists or worry unnecessarily or fret the small stuff, (unlike her mother). She's not afraid of adventure and she's an eternal optimist and a loyal friend. I will always be her mommy, but I found out last night that I can also call her "friend".
Kate is my baby girl with the golden curls (which she now tames into submission with a straightener). Except when she beach bums it. When she is surfing she lets it fly and dry free, and I love it that way.
Do you see the wisdom in those big brown eyes? Even here, when she was only three years old. Really, look deep into them. It made her an easy kid. She was a joy to raise up. If you want to get to know Kate you can read a post I wrote about her called Simply Kate And if you have a really, really, really, lot of time go check out 22 Things I Know About Kate. If you only want to read about remodeling the cottage, you're gonna have to come back tomorrow or the next day to see the newest pics. I'm busy bragging about, sharing my daughter with you here.
These are my original 5. I talk about them often but since I haven't yet been able to figure out how to put pictures on my sidebar, I'm sure everyone gets them a bit mixed up in my stories and has no idea who I'm talking about. So for those of you who want to know, here they are. Left to right: Dylan, Maggie, Tara, Cooper and Kate. I'd use fake names to protect the innocent but, they're not all that innocent.
Last Christmas all the in-laws and outlaws, the husbands and grandkids were all occupied elsewhere. So I got to go to Mommy Bliss. I got to have all 5 of my kids, all to myself, for a whole night. It's never happened before and it may never happen again. Not that I don't wish for it to but, everybody is growing up. Fast. There aren't too many opportunities as you moms out there may know, to have them to yourself when they get older. They're all about their peers and getting lives of their own soon enough. "Waaa, waaa, waaa. My nest is almost empty says the momma bird".
When they are little, you wish for that one moment you can get all for yourself. I used to sneak off and try to take a bath alone when suddenly, on the other side of the locked door, I'd see little fingers poking there way under. Then the little voice, "Mommy, I NEEDS you." Mommying is a grueling job. It can suck the life right out of you It takes a tremendous amount of energy and dedication. It is a 24 hour a day gig and It poops you out.
People tell you all the time that your kids are going to grow up too fast. They tell you to appreciate what you have while you have it because soon it will change. It will change so much you may not recognize it. I've said it on more than one occasion to anyone I could force to listen to me for any amount of time new mommies, and even to some of you out there! That's the great part of writing a blog. It's kind of (kind of except when you click x and I'm gone), like having a captive audience. But, what they say true. It's oh, so, true. Time flies...
For a fleeting moment last Christmas, when everybody else had somewhere else to be, I had all of these goof balls to myself once again. I loved every second of it. They made me laugh 'till I cried. They made me beam with pride from the inside out.
Note to my hubby: we done good baby. We done good.